Is a Four-putt.

This sage advice comes directly from Jeff Foxworthy in his new golf handbook “How to really stink at Golf.”

The good news is that this book will take you about 10 minutes to read. More good news is that it makes for a terrific gift for your golf obsessed friend, spouse, etc. It’s also worth 2 or 3 really good laughs.

In particular, I loved Jeff’s swing thoughts:

“Feet shoulder width apart, relax at the knees, arms straight, hands forming a perfect V, remember to rotate your hips, not too fast on the takeaway, are your shoes tied? Yea, I’m pretty sure they are, check the wind, did I leave the stove on this morning?” Etc, Etc, Etc.

The bad news is that some of the jokes aren’t all that funny. Ah well.

The book does however make a good point in the end. Golf is about having fun and shouldn’t feel like work. It’s too bad I actually care about getting better.

If I were a reviewer who gave stars, I’d give it a 3 out of 5. Or, in golf terms, a bogey. Close to par, but not quite.

I bought something called “The Key” the other day. I was so distraught after an absolutely horrid day at the range last week, I felt that I simply needed to buy one more golf gadget to make me feel better. I haven’t had a chance to use it yet, will it work?

At the range, I hit a bucket of balls… umm.. I didn’t actually hit much other than the ground and pieces of the ball. It was horrible!

I was thinking that golf season may in fact be over this year but just remembered that I’m playing at a CIO.com event in San Diego in November which means I’d better get my swing together quickly!

Here’s a link for more info.

Finally, some pics from the tourney I played in with my 9 year old… we shot a 38, +5 on an executive course and had an absolutely amazing time.

As I mentioned in my last post, I spent the last few days down in Charlotte at a Member/Guest tournament – my first multi-day golf event and first member/guest as well. Instead of recapping the entire week, I’ll post here my highlights and lowlights for the record. Enjoy.

Highlights

1. Not being the highest handicapper (in fact, I was 5th from worst!)
2. Winning 2 matches on the final day to pull out 3rd place in our flight
3. Pecan pie
4. Hitting my 3 wood from 195 yards, over water to about 15 feet
5. Hanging out with an old, old friend for the first time in years
6. Big break challenge – I almost busted the glass and instead, plugged a ball right through the wood base
7. Punching out of the woods from inside a gulley about 15 feet down onto the fairway

Lowlights

1. Tapping the ball by accident on the final hole of a match. I needed to make a long putt for a tie, but didn’t even give myself a chance. Humiliating.
2. Losing 2 balls OB while stroking. We lost that hole.
3. Not owning a driver, and feeling lame about that
4. Losing 8-2 in our first match after shooting a net 31 in the practice round

Overall, it was an incredible event and I personally had an amazing time. My partner however, needs to either change his strategy, or find a new partner for next year if he wants to win. We ended up 2-2-1 in match play (we won both matches on the last day!).

One other note for those of you struggling with your golf game… I’m a 19/20 handicapper and had a 23 course handicap for the week. I’ve come to believe that there is simply a limit to how well someone with my skill (or lack of) can play. I made some good shots and some bad shots and probably shot around 99-101 gross each round which isn’t horrible. But in the end, there is just no way that I was going to shave 10 strokes off my game just because it was a tournament. That meant capitalizing when I had a stroke. I managed to do that a few times, but not enough apparently.